Maybe
by gypsysfeather
Summary: Maybe it's a stomach bug, maybe it's a strain of her back, maybe, maybe, maybe. But maybe, she's actually pregnant. (Deeper thoughts on what Trina was going through early pregnancy, set from 1x09 to 1x12)
_**Hey guys! Here's a new Swingtown one shot about Trina and her thoughts on the pregnancy. Goes a little deeper than the show gave.**_

 _ **Warning: talk of abortion and miscarriages.**_

 _ **...**_

 _ **...**_

"Aww, such a waste, hm?" She cooed, looking over at the woman who's passed out on the couch. "Perfect unicorn."

Tom's lips curve into a small smile, she wondered what he's about to do before he sat down between her and the woman, putting his arm around her and looking directly into her eyes, "There's only one unicorn in my book, baby." That next kiss turned into a heated one; one full of desire for each other and _only_ each other at that moment. He gently pressed his body against hers, making her legs open as he scoots his way into them.

The woman groaned a little, turning in her sleep. It stopped them for a moment, and they suddenly realized that they would both really like some privacy. The look they gave each other said everything, no words were needed. Tom nodded his head toward the stairs, and Trina nodded back. He picked her up without further wait, and carried her up the stairs.

"Trina?" He whispered, now naked and hovering over her gently, looking down into her eyes. She hummed a bit, telling him to go on even though he was _right_ there at her entrance. "I love you, Tri. I do. And I said that three years ago when I married you, and I mean it now too. You're the only one I want, okay? I may have had a bad moment of weakness, not telling you about Bobbi and not clearing it either. But I'm truly, truly sorry about it...I just want you."

He had her attention fully, and she pulled his head down to hers to kiss him again, slower and more caring. "I know, Tom. I've had weak moments too. Maybe I didn't give into mine, but I understand." She whispered back, kissing him one more time. "I forgive you."

With that, he smiled a little more, thankful she's an understanding woman, and slid into her. Moans reverberated throughout their bedroom, and she wrapped her legs around him to get him deeper inside of her. She clawed her nails into his biceps, biting her lip to keep from groaning when he first touches that sweet spot. He finds it so quickly.

"You okay?" He whispered, and she nodded.

Neither of them say anything more, just sweet and soft moans, nothing too loud and crazy. She came once before he did, which is something rare that no other man has done for her. The way he hits that spot, rubs her clit gently and drives her insane with the passionate kisses down her neck and collarbone, it just makes her crazy for him.

After she came the second time, she looked into his eyes and chuckled breathlessly, "I've missed us, Tom." She murmured, biting her lip a little as he stilled inside of her, pausing his movements. "Do you know how long it's been since I've had an actual orgasm, let alone two with intercourse?" She asked.

He smiled sadly, kissing her lips lovingly as he starts his hips again. "I knew you'd been faking." He teased, chuckling softly.

Just a few more thrusts and he was twitching before letting go deep inside of her. She swears it was the biggest load he's ever let go in her, and he's pretty sure it was too.

They're left together in a sweaty, breathless mess underneath the covers, held tightly onto one another.

…

…

 _ **Two weeks later**_

…

…

This is the first day she hasn't been "spotting". The past three days she's been spotting, no where near her cycle. She was beginning to get worried, but now she's feeling a bit more at peace about everything.

She's glad the spotting stopped, because they have their _private party_ with Anthony and Michelle tonight, but now she's hanging over the toilet – and not with a hangover. _It's probably a bug,_ she thinks as she wipes her mouth off, washing her hands. She stands in the mirror to fix her hair before walking out, wrapping her robe around her a little before getting dressed for the day.

This is Tom's day off, but he's still asleep since he got home late. She smiles softly at him as she dresses, loving the way he looks so cute when he sleeps. She reaches around to clasp her bra, grunting a little when she feels a soreness about her. It makes her look down at her chest, touching her breasts gently and realizing that they really were hurting. _Maybe my period is early this time._ She walks back out after she throws a dress on, going downstairs to start on a small breakfast for them.

The eggs are frying on the pan, the toast is ready to be pushed into the toaster, and the bacon is about to be sizzling on another pan. She bends down into the lower cabinet to grab it, groaning like an old woman. She grabs her back, stretching it out a little with furrowed brows. "What the hell..." She whispers to herself, rubbing her sore back. _Maybe I strained it when I got sick._

She can hear Tom's footsteps coming down the stairs, and she stands up and starts frying the bacon. "Good morning." She says with a soft smile, "I wasn't going to wake you up until later, I figured you wanted to catch up on a little sleep?"

He shrugs, walking to her and pressing a kiss to her cheek gently. "I smelled food." He admits playfully, winking at her before fixing his sleep shorts a little, walking to get two glasses for orange juice. He fills them up and sets them on the outside patio, "Did you get sick this morning? I thought I heard you throwing up."

"Hangover." She says, completely lying to him. It felt impulsive and wrong, but she didn't want him worrying and she most certainly didn't want him calling off their night with Anthony and Michelle. This would be the first time they've opened up their marriage in weeks. "I had quite a few drinks last night before you got home, and a 'lude or two." She says, chuckling softly to make it seem less fabricated.

She turns away from him so he can't see her expression, finishing the bacon up and laying everything out on two plates to bring outside to him. "That smells delicious." He says, digging into his before she does. There was only a strip of bacon on her plate, along with an egg and a piece of toast. He had three pieces of bacon, two eggs, and two pieces of toast. "You're only eating that?" He asks her, swallowing a piece of egg.

Shrugging, she looks down at her food. "Still a bit queasy." She says. _Damn stomach bug._ She's hoping all of her symptoms will be gone by at least noon, so she can keep their party going tonight. She doesn't want to stop that. "But I'll be okay. I just got a little sicker than normal, plus I think something is going on." She says, then pauses and looks up at him, "You know, woman-wise. I think I'm going to be a little early this month, if you know what I mean."

He nods, shrugging it off as he eats his food. He wasn't ever phased by the period talk or other things most men would find gross. "You still have plenty of pills, right?"

 _Which ones?_ She wonders. She takes some before-hand so that her period isn't so horrible that she has to go to the hospital, she has pills also that she takes during in case they start to get bad (even with the pills she takes to prevent all that), and she has her morning after pills, her Quaaludes, and other things even. "Be more specific." She says, chuckling as she bites off a piece of toast.

He laughs, further explaining, "The ones that help before it gets bad. And also the ones that help during."

She nods, "Mhm, I do." She says, straightening up a little bit. This damn chair was making her back hurt. She pulls up the chair on the side of the table and puts her feet up on it, repositioning herself so that her back wasn't hurting as badly.

The subject may not make Tom feel uncomfortable, and doesn't necessarily make Trina _uncomfortable_ , but she doesn't usually like talking about it with him. She has very bad cycles, always off and weird, very painful too. Doctors have told her it's probably from her badly treated miscarriage when she was young, and she halfway agrees. She almost died back then, with Luke's baby. Therefore, her health is a touchy subject to talk about over breakfast, so she changes it. "Did you hear about Lisa and Paul?" She asks, bringing up the couple that moved away that they used to swing with sometimes. "Apparently she's pregnant, but not with his baby..."

Tom's eyes widen and he shakes his head, "That's a good time for abortion." He says.

Trina looks down a little; another touchy subject for her. She's never wanted kids, but she's never really wanted to get rid of her babies either. She's had two after the miscarriage, and both were by Tom, but both were terminated because she felt too scared that Tom wouldn't want her _or_ the baby. It was one thing she just couldn't be open to him about.

She doesn't answer him, just shrugs and keeps eating.

Later that day, about three, she makes sure she's feeling better before getting a few _toys_ out for Anthony and Michelle's visit. She doesn't want to pass anything on to them. She's even beginning to think it was something she had eaten last night that made her sick, because she hasn't gotten sick since after breakfast.

Their night is much needed with Anthony and Michelle. She and Michelle even taunted their husbands by doing a few naughty things to each other – naughtier than normal. It was a long night of passionate sex, taunting, teasing, and playing with their toys. But in the morning when Tom kisses Trina's head, she feels hungover.

She hears Tom and Michelle greet each other with a kiss, and then she feels him turn over to face her, and his hand gently rubs her arm before he kisses her cheek. "Mm, good morning, Sunshine." He coos.

She grunts a bit, groaning with her eyes closed still, "Is it morning already?" He answers with _mhm_ , and she grunts again as she opens her eyes to be blinded by the sun in the windows. She covers her eyes with her hand lazily and asks, "Anything you can do about that?"

He chuckles, making her close her eyes again, "Hm, one too many last night?" He asks, still rubbing her naked arm.

She shrugs her shoulders slightly, "Guess so." She replies, opening her eyes tiredly when she feels his lips against her cheek again.

"Mm, I'll put on some coffee." He murmurs before getting out of bed, leaving her thinking about the fact she didn't have one bit of a Quaalude last night, nor a drink, nor anything else. She's not hungover, she just feels horrible again. _Maybe a swim will help_ , she thinks. She knows she always feels better after relaxing in the pool on a hot summer day. That's what she'll do, as soon as they both leave.

Once breakfast was served and coffee had been drunk, she throws a bikini on and dives into the pool for a nice swim. She goes back and forth, almost as if she were pacing. Her mind was just racing, she still felt sick to her stomach. Everything felt yucky, she's never felt like this and she's not sure why she's starting now. It feels even worse than a hangover. She decides that she should probably make a doctor's appointment, but on that thought she had to rush out and throw up over in the bushes. She felt disgusting again, and just sat in the pool for a while and played with her fingers underneath the water while Tom showered inside.

She looks down at her nails, picking at them before realizing how swollen she looked. Not her fingers, but her breasts that seemed to be more in the view of her fingers than normal. She furrows her brows again and reaches up, pressing her breast gently and swallowing thickly when it hurts again.

Suddenly, the thought that hadn't yet crossed her mind pops into it. _I'm pregnant._

She remembers feeling bad with her other three, but never like this. She must be further along than she ever was with the others or something, because this has been the worst she's felt in her whole life, she's sure of it. She sighs, trying to get her mind off it, but she just _can't_. She gets out, heading to the phone on the patio and making an appointment for Dr. Fragert, today at one. She hangs up and jumps back in the pool, only to be interrupted minutes later by Susan.

…

…

"I'm off to Dr. Fragerts." She announces, grabbing her keys from the dish.

He frowns, turning around to see her all dressed and ready. "For a hangover?" He asks, seemingly confused.

She shrugs, thinking quickly and swallowing hard, "Just a normal check-up." She says somewhat awkwardly, shooting him a soft smile before turning away. "See you later."

Once she gets to the doctor's office and checks herself in, she was called back pretty soon after. The place was slow, it wasn't a busy time of day for most people to come to the doctor's. "How are you doing?" The nurse asks, bringing Trina to the scale.

She shrugs, "As good as one can be I guess." She says, not wanting to admit even to herself that she really could be pregnant. She watches as she steps on the scale, waiting for the nurse to finish the measurements. She's at her usual weight, maybe a few ounces heavier. Not unusual. _Maybe that's a good sign, maybe I won't be pregnant._

"Come on back." The nurse says, getting her set up for the doctor by taking her blood pressure and such before giving her a gown to change in to. "Dr. Fragert will be in to give you a test, just sit tight until she's here." She says, closing the door and leaving Trina in a cold room all alone.

She wishes, suddenly, that if she looked up that she'd see Tom sitting there in the chair. She wants reassurance that it's going to be okay, that she's not even pregnant. That the doctors have always said there's a slim chance she'd ever be pregnant, and that the morning after pills really did work. That she won't have to sit through another abortion (even though he doesn't know she ever has), and that she won't have to grieve in silence for days. She just wants his comfort there, but she's too scared to even tell him.

She may lose him. They've talked about kids, neither want them. Tom is strongly against having kids, and Trina definitely does not want them, but wouldn't have aborted if it weren't for feeling like she would've lost Tom over it.

Her fingers are fidgeting again, and she takes this time to look down at her stomach. She puts her hand over it, flattening the gown so that it was against her skin. She lets out a weighted sigh, not sure what she's even feeling right now. "If you're in there," She whispers, swallowing thickly. "I'm not going to hurt you. I can't do that..." She says, not sure why, but she says it just in case.

She knows that if she is pregnant, she's not aborting another one. She can't. She refuses, plus it's not the greatest for her own body. Tom will just have to deal with her being pregnant for nine months, and then she'll give it up to a family who wants it and really will cherish it. It's decided already, she can't do another termination.

Dr. Fragert knocks on the door, opening it and smiling softly, "Good afternoon." She greets Trina, giving her a hug. Dr. Ann Fragert has been a friend of Trina's and Tom's ever since they were married. She's the one that's referred the abortion clinics to Trina, and the one who cried with her for her check-ups afterward. She was more than a doctor to Trina, she was a friend. "How are you feeling?"

Trina looks up and shakes her head, "Like I've been run over by a truck." She states, still fidgeting with her hands. When Ann gives her a saddened look, Trina realizes her hands haven't stopped and she tucks them underneath her legs. "Before we start this, I'm not aborting this one. I can't, Ann." She says sadly, looking her right in the eyes. "I know it's Tom's. And I have too much regret built up from the last two I aborted. I'll carry it and then I can put it up for adoption, giving it to a family who wants it."

Ann looks at her sadly, swallowing thickly and nodding. "And Tom?"

"Tom will either love me or leave me." Trina says nervously, swallowing thickly after those words. They tasted horrible to say.

Ann nods, getting out the test kit. "Alright, well you know how this goes." She says, not feeling the need to explain anything to Trina.

After she takes the test, she takes it back to the lab part and lets it all get finished. Trina waits more nervously than before, even, and she finds herself wondering what it would be like to raise a baby with Tom, if he grew up a little more. But no, she doesn't need to wonder that. It's not in the playbook, that's not how their relationship works. No kids, they agreed on it.

"Trina?" Ann says, walking in and holding a few papers. "I think you already know my news." She says, smiling sadly at the brunette. "You're definitely pregnant..." She says, sighing a bit and shaking her head. "Now-"

"Now I need to tell Tom." Trina whispers, her whole body feeling numb.

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 _ **How'd you like it? Give you a little more thought on what Trina may have been thinking throughout the very beginnings of the pregnancy? Please review! BE NICE! ;)**_

 _ **-G.**_


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